Kristina

The Greatest Gift

Focusing on what makes us happy, not what makes us unhappy, positive psychology has become part of most people’s thinking. A foundational assertion is that happiness is not the result of luck or your genes but a state that can be cultivated by practising certain thought patterns. So, here are three techniques from the field that we have found to be most useful ourselves and with many of our clients. Savour pleasurable experiences (We have written about this before and it is worth repeating again and again) by going over them in your imagination, enhancing them and re-creating the feelings. …

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People Pleasing

The behavioural pattern known as “people pleasing” or compliance is one we see in the the therapy room frequently. Almost everybody enjoys pleasing others as part of our social interaction, but when we defer to the wishes of others and bend over backwards to accommodate them whilst denying our own wants and needs, our lives can become unmanageable and we are left feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Some of us allow the need to please to compromise our relationships, health and well-being. If you often say “yes” when you want to say “no”; worry excessively about hurting others’ feelings; have an …

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Why Tap?

Although Energy psychology and particularly the techniques of EFT and TFT, are gaining more and more media attention, meridian tapping seems like an odd, suspect, “out there” therapy to most people who come across it for the first time.  Let’s face it, it is still considered strange by many converts who have benefited hugely from using the techniques. After all, it makes no sense to tap on your body in particular places to bring about changes in states of mind and symptoms! Before the maturing of neuroscience there was no acceptable hypothesis of how acupoint tapping works, even though the …

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Stress Relief

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” William James STRESSED? PHONE HOME! Stress is part of all our daily lives and it is estimated that six million days of sick leave in the UK are related to stress  each year.  Recently researchers from the University of Wisconsin-Madison looked at the effects that contact with mothers can have on the stress levels of their daughters.  The sample was fairly small and the age of the daughters between 7 and 12 but the study showed that in all cases contact with mum before and after …

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“I’m RIGHT: They’re WRONG”

We have been thinking back to previous Christmas times and some of the common themes we hear from clients at this time or year.  Many are anxious about the holiday season because of family reunions and the potential for arguments and tension. There was a survey just before Christmas last year claiming that families argue for an average of 7 hours over Christmas and the first argument will be early on Christmas Day, 9.55am to be precise! We know that the media is full of advice about how to make the holiday season enjoyable each year and we’re adding our …

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Improve your day with one small step

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” Winston Churchill . Our “Plastic” Brains Stressed? Anxious? Feeling down? Or do you just want to feel even more positive than you already do? Discoveries in neuroscience over the past 30 years have taught us that we don’t need to be stuck in a downward spiral of negative thoughts which dump stress chemicals in our brain often leading to stress, anxiety and depression.  We now know that our brains change and grow by creating neural networks and these neural networks are formed and developed …

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The Power Of The Pen

It is important to know that you have processes to help you cope on days when you feel that things are just not going your way and that you can’t get away from your worries and anxiety. We wrote an article some time ago entitled “Brain Dump” a name we took from Gillie Botton who has written widely about the process of writing down your fears, doubts and anxieties as a way of unloading them and achieving psychological distance from them. It is a powerful technique and neuroscientist Mark Walderman suggests a quick variation which goes under the name of …

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Five Ways to Re-train your brain to stop needless worrying

With our newsletter we are keen to pass on self-help techniques that our readers can use to find relief and enhance their lives. Here are five tried and tested ways to retrain your brain to let go of constant worry. If you are worrying unproductively, we hope that there is something here for you. Chronic worrying is a learned, conditioned behaviour which many suffer from. It seems there is at least one worrier in every family. Have you heard, “Who will worry if I don’t?” or “Somebody needs to worry!” said. These thoughts are not uncommon, many equate worry with …

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Happy Days

On Saturday 20th March the International Day of Happiness was celebrated with various activities in many countries.  You may have missed it altogether or the media coverage possibly entered the peripheries of your awareness or  you may even have been involved in an awareness raising event yourself. In 2011 the United Nations General Assembly adopted a resolution which recognised “happiness as a fundamental goal” and called for “a more inclusive, equitable and balanced approach to economic growth that  promotes the happiness and well-being of all people.” The UN wants us to remember that it is family and friends and emotional …

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Insomnia

“And if tonight my soul may find her peace in sleep, and sink in good oblivion, and in the morning wake like a new-opened flower then I have been dipped again in God, and new-created.” ~D.H. Lawrence Almost everyone experiences sleeplessness at some time in their lives but for those with persistent insomnia the effects on their mental and physical well-being can be extremely damaging.  And we’re not just referring to an insignificant minority.  Some estimates suggest that a quarter of us suffer and it is one of the top three health topics that men search for on the internet. …

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