Today, we seem to be obsessed with the significant relationship and you may wonder why given the number of failed relationships and divorce figures. Cell biologist, Bruce Lipton, explains “our biology is pushing us to bond….It is a fundamental biological imperative.”
If you are in a happy and fulfilling relationship then taking time to reflect and appreciate will activate your parasympathetic nervous system, relaxing the body and reducing stress hormones so doing you a great deal of good. If your relationship is not all you feel it could be and you are willing to take a little time to improve things, here’s some advice that we’ve found to be most helpful to clients
1) Take responsibility –
For anything you think is not right with your relationship or partner. Whether we are aware of it or not, negative patterns of thought and behaviour often resulting from suppressed emotions from the past, will play out in our relationships. There is no need to try to work out why you think and behave the way you do, just decide to stop blaming, judging and criticising. Know that you needn’t be a victim or a martyr. Take responsibility for what happens. S/he is not at fault.
2) Focus on what you like in your partner –
Take five or ten minutes each day to think about something you like about your partner. Writing it down is a powerful exercise. In addition think about why you like the aspect you have chosen. Positive emotion habituates rapidly.
3) Show gratitude –
Not just in your thoughts, but acknowledge something good about your lives together out loud to your partner every day. Saying “Thank you” is a good start or, if you wish, write a gratitude letter to your partner and make that part of Valentine’s Day (for example) every year. Studies show that practising gratitude can increase happiness levels, enthusiasm, determination and energy.
Like everything else, if you bring your awareness to the positive aspects of your life together and give them your attention, it will become easier and easier to do and you and your partner will reap the benefits.
Jocelyn and Kristina at Trance-Formed